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Someone in the house has insomnia. And it isn’t me. For a change.
Since I stopped trying to run the world more efficiently and focused on trying to make myself happy and productive, I tend not to have insomnia (except for the occasional that-wasn’t-decaf issue). However, C’s gotten into the vicious cycle of waking up a few times a night, getting annoyed/anxious, and then repeating the next night, now even more sleep deprived.
I have to admit, I’m getting a little tired too.
When I was little and had trouble going to sleep (always Sunday nights, even today it is Sunday nights that are the hardest), my mom tried to tell me that there was a spell for going to sleep, just like the spells we’d read about in Witch World and Xanth books. She said that I had to concentrate for the spell to work.
First, I had to find a comfortable position, so comfortable that I could take ten deep breaths without wiggling (in fact, if I wiggled at all, I had to start the whole spell over again).
Next, there was a song I had to recite in my head, taking the same breaths I’d take if I was singing it very slowly, like chanting it. The song:
Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are,
Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are,
You’ll be sparkling through the night, I’ll be snuggled up so tight.
While you’re smiling at moonbeams, I will see you in my dreams.
Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are,
Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky.
When the light of day is near, you just seem to disappear.
Why do you hide and where do you go? There’s so much that I don’t know.
Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are,
Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky.
Ok, that isn’t the song. I forgot the song long ago. But that is the song from the Soother I worked on at LeapFrog and it is the song I mentally sing to myself now. Though there are a few other songs too. And poems.
Anyway, back to the spell: concentrating on a song, remembering it is a good way to fall asleep. It is hard to worry about all the things I worry about and think about breathing and remember a song.
But wait, there is more to the spell after the song. If you are still awake. I don’t remember what it was… maybe think of ten things… For example, think of ten red things or ten things that puppies play with. No wiggling. This is all mental.
Ten is a funny number. Most brains hold six items easily. Ten is harder, especially when you are sleepy. This definitely drives out all the other things to stay awake to think about.
Sometimes I change this up and multiply 2 x 2 x … 2 x 2 until I get to a new number, ideally not just through my arithmetic errors. Bonus points if I can simultaneously count how many twos this is (as in the N in 2^N).
Still awake? That isn’t so good. You can do this spell three times, switching out poems and mental exercises (or not). But if you are still awake after the third time, just get up. Sit quietly and accept that sleep isn’t going to happen. Maybe get a drink or a snack but don’t force it. Read a book, listen to music. Just don’t try to sleep for an hour.
Finally, not every spell works for everyone every time.
But this one worked pretty well for me.
Sweet dreams.
Dragging myself to the shower and standing there, bemoaning my aching head and extreme tiredness, I thought “I haven’t felt this bad since the end of getting over mono.” The thought made me feel a little better, I got from that stage to feeling pretty good in not too long. Clearly this stupid summer cold is not going to last much longer: I’m sure I’ll feel better before my head gives up containment and explodes.
Jarringly, it hit me that the thought wasn’t true. Between the time I had mono as a senior in high school and now, I have felt far (far^25) worse. ”I haven’t felt this bad since three weeks after I got out of the hospital last time” doesn’t have the same ring of hope. Catastrophes ripple through the fabric of life, taking away the small quiet comforts as well as the large obvious ones.
I like the shape and feel of the mono metaphor but I don’t know how to reconstruct it into something that is true without glossing over the other things I have survived.
“I feel like I’m in week three of a four week course of mono” sounds like maybe I’ve had too much of the kissing disease (it was only the once!).
“I feel like a truck ran over my head” is a somewhat exaggerated. Plus, I’d feel the need to describe the size, weight, contents, and color of the truck for better verisimilitude. And, let’s face it, that seems like a lot of work given my brain is attempting a jailbreak of my skull, using a dull spoon to dig its way out.
“I have a headache and I’m going back to bed even though I spent all of yesterday sleeping, reading stupid sci-fi, and watching Olympic soccer” represents what I’m really trying to say. Well, I’m going to work for an hour or two first since yesterday was a total loss. Probably.
But I miss my comforting metaphor. The plan for the day brings me no joy, no comfort that tomorrow will be better (though today is better than yesterday).
I’m going to quit whining now. Really. Probably.
I think I mentioned that we rented the car we drove. We put 7102 miles on the car (it started at 7686 on the odometer).
The car was a new Mazda CX-9, silver with black leather seats but no backup camera. It was a solid power-wise (300 horsepower) and seats for 8.
It was a really good car. Trustworthy and valiant. We should have at least changed the oil. Thought, when we checked (in North Dakota, I think), the oil looked great, like brand new.
We gave it back to Alamo today. I’m a little sad. It was a good car. They said nothing about the bug encrusted front half of the car. Just gave us a receipt for a little under $800. 23 days and 7k miles. (What a great deal!)
And for the record, we told everyone we talked to at Alamo what we intended to do with the car. The checkout person didn’t care, the car wrangler thought it was awesome and might possibly have saved a Mazda for us (over a Ford Flex or a Jeep Grand Cherokee), the map person was appalled but only at the thought of driving all that way. The checkin was painless.
The last gas up was for 14.1 gallons (probably, no receipt for this one) and 307.8 miles. Better than 20mpg.
I’ll miss George.
Um, it is a 2:45pm and twenty minutes to Reno. Which Google says is four hours from home.
The funny thing about google’s estimates: they are horrific overestimates for how we drive (which isn’t always hideously fast, once we see civilizations we are polite). Anyway, google times end up being how long we are on the road, including meal breaks and pit stops and traffic and gas.
We could be home in time for a latish dinner.
I tried to talk C into going all the way yesterday. I mean, in getting an early start for today and powering through. It’d be a long day but about the same as our first day out (San Jose to Flagstaff).
C replied by giving me hotel suggestions in Reno. And explaining he didn’t want to do the mountain climb at the end of a day of driving.
Fair enough and the Reno hotels seemed ok. And we haven’t gone over budget on the trip so maybe we’ll splurge on the resort-spa.
So I dawdled this morning, read a novel for a bit, breakfasted at a restaurant, took C on my walk… We didn’t get out of the hotel until 10am (goal is usually 9am). If we weren’t going to do the drive we shouldn’t be tempted, we should get into Reno at 5pm, that will keep us adhered to the plan.
Quit laughing. It was a plan. My spouse told me what he wanted and I made an effort to make it happen.
Except we gained an hour and we went a little fast in Nevada. So here we are, well within striking distance to home. We’ll get home before the sun sets.
Though we both agree the other can call a halt. And I’m not calling the petsitter until we get off the mountain.
But hearing him say, “I can see California” in the same voice I used to squee over the ape in the Chicago zoo, well, HOME, here we come.
301.0 miles (288 to home), 14.448 gallons, 20.8 mpg, $57.78.
In Wells, Nevada. The original route called for us to stay here (and spend longer in Yellowstone) but since we pushed on to Twin Falls, Idaho last night, we’ll make the last day’s drive a shortish one (when did six hours of driving become short?!?).
Anyway, stopped to get gas. It is dusty and smells like tiles being cut by a saw during kitchen remodels. Glad we stayed in the much greener and prettier Twin Falls.
We’re getting gas little early so we can cross the desert with confidence. We have water too (quit nagging!).
241.0 miles, 12.02 gallons, $48.31. 20mpg. Some lowness is due to the start of the hill climb. The rest is due to outrunning the copper. Oh, sorry, I meant, using the radar detector to slow down enough that the officer of the law nabbed the guy that C had been considering passing.
We’re all fine here, how are you?
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